BabuLife

Let Them Soar

Recently my oldest daughter auditioned for the Olathe, KS Youth Symphony.  She did amazingly well and we are all anxious to find out if she made the team, but really in my mind she already passed the test. The story isn't about making the symphony, but her accomplishment of overcoming fear.

Maelee wasn't interested in being a part of the audition process. In fact, she expressed zero desire to be a part of the symphony at all. Not because she really doubted her skill, but because she didn't feel like going through the process.  What it boiled down to was simple: Fear of rejection.

During the car ride to the audition, I asked her if she was nervous.  Her response was, "yeah...a little". I prayed with her as we drove to the audition and she seemed to be a little less anxious. We arrived at the audition 40 minutes early, plenty of time for her to play through the song and scales before her appointment. Initially, it was us and two other students in a large orchestra room warming up.  She played her violin over and over while more students began piling into the room with cellos, clarinets, bassoons and other violinists.  I watched as she realized she wasn't the only violinist auditioning. Then it hit her...she pulled her violin from her chin and walked over to me with panic in her eyes...she whispered, "Dad, these kids are better than me."  It was what I was waiting for during this whole ordeal.  The moment she was faced with the possibility of rejection.

There were a couple of options I could take at this moment.  

• Baby her. I could lie to her and tell her, "Oh honey...these kids aren't as good as you". While I'm a dad and want to deep down believe that, the truth is, some of the students auditioning were on child prodigy level playing. They were all pretty darn good. If I lied to her and said "they're no better than you are"...she would think I was foolish and would possibly never believe anything I tell her again in these scenarios.
• Teach her. I was looking forward to finding the teachable moment for my daugher in this process. I was handed a softball and decided to give her a lesson on trusting God, living out Proverbs 3:5-6, acknowledging the Lord in these moments and simply being ok with a possible
  rejection knowing that her dad and her God were already proud of her for having the courage to accept the challenge to try. My words to her were, "Maelee, if you don't make it, what's the worst that can happen? You get told no and you learn how to become a better player."

Parents, it's ok to allow your kids to get their feelings hurt when they are rejected. It's ok to push them
to try things that stir up fear within them. What's not ok is how we sometimes let what WE want best for them to get in the way of what is TRULY best for them.  Our kids don't need to be lied to, but rather taught through these opportunities. The first two weeks of American Idol are filled with people auditioning for the show who never had an honest parent or friend tell them the truth.

What I discovered this past week was how rewarding it is as a parent to see my kids attempting to soar.
I couldn't be prouder of my Maelee!

Now go conquer your fears and let the Lord direct your path!

 

 

Ten Memorable Things of 2009

Add this little post to the many other "top ten's of 2009" that I'm sure you'll read all over the internet today.  While the others may be more intriguing or more contemplative, the difference here is that you get to find out what MY 10 memorable things of '09 were....and you wouldn't be here on this little blog if you didn't care.  So here are ten things that impacted me in 2009...in NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

• My oldest turned 10. Seriously. I am now the father of a 10 year old. This happened in the last  month of '09, and while ten years ago I knew this day would come, it surprised me.  Sporty is becoming a young woman right before my eyes.  Praying daily for the Lord to help me be a good father to a pre-teen girl in 2010.  Please pray for me...I am a father of 3 girls. That's a lot of estrogen.

• All About Worship Podcast. I'm grateful to my good friend Wisdom for reaching out to me and allowing me to be a part of this special little nugget on the internet. Through this little podcast reaching approximately 6,000 or so listeners, I've been privileged to speak with some of my Worship Leading heroes (notice I didn't say "idols"...cuz that'd be like sooo not All About Worship).  Christy Nockels, Tim Hughes, Paul Baloche, Brenton Brown, Bethany Dillon...the list goes on. Seriously...how cool is that!?!?  Looking forward to what's coming in 2010 and feel very blessed to be a small part of it. Thanks Wisdom!

• 19 years of Addie. My wife and I met in High School November 23rd, 1990. My cousin had amazing insight and created what was called "Operation Add-Ben" where an event was scheduled so some of their common friends would meet with us and go hang out...all so Addie and I could say hi to each other. I was 16 and she had just turned 17. I've been with her in my life longer than I lived here on earth without her. Wow. We're still in many ways those same awkward kids with the bowl haircut and crazy permed hair.  It's amazing to think how much we've been through together.  Here's to the 20th year of Addie in 2010! Love you Add!

• National Worship Leader Conference. I'd never traveled to a worship leader conference in my 10 years or so of being involved in worship ministry. I've wanted to, but the cost has always kept me from making that commitment. So when I saw the folks a Worship Leader Magazine were bringing it right down the street from Grace Church, I was pumped. Best part was meeting many of my online worship leading friends and building some great friendships. And to have Rich Kirkpatrick sitting in my living room surfing the web was pretty awesome. And the fond memory of eating dinner on the Plaza double dating with Mr & Mrs Fred McKinnon. It's back in 2010!

• Grace Worship Team. This year has been HUGE for our worship team.  It started with a prayer I made back in January 2009 as the new year was just under way. I remember being on vacation and asking the Lord to grow the worship team at Grace both numerically and spiritually.  Having experienced prayer like this personally, I knew this could very well lead to some challenges.  But I also knew on the other side of fires comes refining.  We studied the book "Pure Praise" together as a team...and wow. I was blown away at how much our team has grasped the concept of each of us being more than worship musicians...but worship ministers.  I love the worship team at Grace...and am SO excited to see how God continues to mold us in 2010. 

• Trip to Israel. This August visit to the Middle East far exceeded my expectations. I'm not a big  travel kind of guy. My ideal vacation is a week in my recliner with a laptop and a stack of DVD's. Sr. Pastor Tim Howey and I trekked over to visit the ministry my parents lead in Jericho, West Bank.  We were able to see first hand the amazing outreach they are doing through a community center and kindergarten.  During our visit, we checked out all the sites in Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Sea of Galilee and even up north to the Golan Heights. (check out the video highlights here)Truly an amazing trip that completely transforms your personal scripture reading. Every image in my mind that I had reading the gospels has completely changed. Look for a possible Grace trip over the coming couple of years.

• Vacation. Yeah I know...I said I like to sit in my recliner. However, this year we met my parents and went on a great vacation together in Branson, MO...home of Dino. My kids would say the best part of the entire trip was spending hours at the go-kart rides. I have to admit it was quite fun as you can see from this video. Hearing my youngest shout to her older sister who wasn't quite sure about riding "It's not even bad Carys! It's good, it's good!" 

• Star Wars in Concert. When this was announced in July, I couldn't believe it wasn't scheduled to come to Kansas City. I mean really...don't they know I'm here?!? Fortunately someone let Lucas and crew know about this 35 year old kid that lives in the Midwest who's been a devoted fan of this little film franchise since the age of 3. I took the oldest to see it and we were dumbfounded. Check out my video of the opening song here (who knows how long it'll be allowed to stay there). Not only was there a live symphony and choir performing the music, but there were movie props and costumes.

• Easter at Grace. In April we had the biggest attendance in the history of our church. It was a crazy wild weekend with worship team members dealing with family members being in hospitals. Typically when things like that happen, we brace ourselves for something amazing that will take place.  We held a special Saturday night service in addition to our typical 3 on Sundays. We had a little over 1,500 people attend and saw many people receive Christ that weekend. Wow. I won't forget that songlist "Happy Day", "Salvation is Here", "Revelation Song", "I Will Rise" and "True Love".  Amazing weekend thanks to so many volunteers within the Grace body. Awesomeness.

• Spritual Growth. This was a wonderful year for me in so many ways. One of my fondest memories of 2009 will be the unique walk with Christ I had with some special teaching sessions about myself, my family, my leadership and my relationship with Him. I'm extremely grateful for the chance to be challenged by the Lord about my calling. Do I really love what I do? Is it worth the fight? Is all this "ministry stuff" really worth it? Of course the answer is yes.  No matter what the enemy may whisper in my ear, I know I'm called for this purpose, "to lead others into a meaningful, worshipful relationship with their creator through Jesus Christ".

Praising God for a wonderful 2009 and I'm looking forward to what's to come.  I saw a recent Tweet from someone asking if we could put into one word what we feel the next year would bring, what would that word be?  I'm thinking my word would be REVOLUTION.

Thinking About Leaving?

It happens. Folks are led to leave a church. In many cases, it's okay.  In fact, it's a very healthy thing  for individuals to pursue what God is doing in their lives. I've left a church before, and before I did, there were questions that I had to answer personally for myself and for my family.

The article below was forwarded to me and it had some fantastic points every person should consider before making the final call on leaving a church family.  You can check it out directly at the Building Church Leaders blog here.

April 24, 2009

5 Reasons You'll Want to Leave But Shouldn't

Is it really time for a ministry change?

Angie and David Ward

Should I stay or should I go? At some point, every ministry leader asks the question, sometimes at weekly intervals. The answer isn't always clear. But whether you're asking it because of the Monday-morning blahs, the post-conference buzz, or the deacon-meeting blues, here are five reasons not to leave your current situation.

1. Conflict.
Whether it's criticism, opposition, or differences in philosophy or personality, as a leader you can expect conflict. It's inevitable wherever two or more sinners are gathered, even in Christ's name. Leaving because of conflict often demonstrates the schoolyard value, "If you don't play the game my way, I'm taking my ball and going home." But you win some battles just by surviving them. Live to fight another day.

2. Slow progress.
Many of us in ministry have been conditioned to believe that more and faster are better. We want maximum impact with minimum resistance. Time is short, we say; the Kingdom is coming. But sometimes the King wants us to slow down and listen. Stuckness may frustrate your grand ministry plans, but it may also be the best thing for your spiritual growth.

3. Frustrations with leadership.
The thought, "If I were in charge, I'd do things differently" is not necessarily a call from God to leave your current situation. You may be right, and your church may be filled with horrible leaders. Perhaps that means you're the good leader they need to help them reach their full potential.

4. Uncertainty or transition.
Some leaders bolt as soon as they feel their organization is in crisis. Whether your church is looking for a new senior pastor, working through a change in philosophy, or facing a budget crunch, sometimes the best move may be to stay put, and to help your community weather the transition.

5. The lure of greener pastures.
A fellow leader once heard me questioning whether I should stay in a particular position. He asked, "Did God call you here?" I answered affirmatively, but his next question was the kicker: "Did God call you away?" I had been so focused on where I felt I wanted to go, I hadn't asked whether God had released me from my current assignment. The minute you look longingly at the fescue on the other side of the fence, you diminish your effectiveness in your current setting—the one God has called you to.

Angie and David Ward are ministry leaders who are staying—for now—in Durham, North Carolina.

How Far Will You Go?

Sometimes you just have to let it go. When everyone can see that your product won't work...it just might be time to quit selling it.  I honor the efforts of the salesman in this video who continues selling even while laying on the floor and the camera has cut away.  But really...let it go.  How far will you go to convince people of a failing product?  Enjoy the video:

Off to Catalyst

It's been awhile since our Pastoral team has had an opportunity to travel together for some leadership conferencing.  We're heading down to Catalyst in Atlanta, GA on Tuesday morning.  There are a few things I'm looking forward to this week:

• Fellowship - Just hanging out with the fellas I sweat and labor with for God's kingdom.  I love my fellow Pastor dudes and I can't wait to get away with them. I'm sure we'll have some great conversations about how we can apply what we're hearing at Catalyst.
• Speakers - There will be some top notch folks speaking this year.  I've been a Seth Godin nerd in our office since I became the Communications Director.  So much so that I've probably annoyed some of my fellow team members.  Also looking forward to Craig Groeschell (heard him at the Willow Leadership Summit) along with Andy Stanley and Dave Ramsey. 
• Labs - We're taking advantage of the pre-conference labs scheduled for Wednesday. I'm heading to the "Culture" lab to here the likes of Author Tim Stevens and Andy crouch. I enjoy these smaller/more intimate settings with leaders. Looking forward to this.
• Fellow Bloggers - I don't know how much time I'll have to meet with my fellow bloggers whom I've never met face to face.  But I might just get a chance to just say hi so if you're on Twitter, be sure to follow me and maybe we can catch a moment to just shake hands at the least.  I'm looking forward to maybe hooking up with my fellow worship leading buddy from California,  Bobby Marchessault.
• Worship - I just heard today on the Catalyst podcast that Hillsong United will be coming in to lead some worship. That's right...Hillsong United! Woohoo!!!  My fellow band buddies will be jealous I'm sure. Turns out I was waaaay off...Steve Fee, Kristian Stanfill and a few others rocked the house...still an AWESOME time of worship.

I'll be Twittering from the conference so if you're interested in updates, just click here and elect to follow me.  You can also check back here as I'll try and blog as well.

Leadership Summit 2008

I've been at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit these past couple of days.  This is a great time of leadership vision refilling every year.  So many great speakers, so much encouraging content that stretches me.  Our entire staff is here along with another 10-15 Gracers.  That's a lot of visioneering going on.

If you're interested in the conference, you can follow Tim's notes here.  You can also visit the "Leadership Summit" Twitter page here to catch conversations from attenders across the globe.

Speed Bumps

"Friendships are like speedbumps...just little bumps in the road causing you to slow down while getting to your intended destination."

There are things I regret doing and saying in my life...this is one of them.

In our lives we experience many friendships that come and go.  Some of us build walls to keep our distances from those we actually care about.  Why do we do this?  For me, I came to a realization in my life that I have a fear of being let down.  I've been let down in my childhood by friendships.  Wounded by people I've let into my world only to have them disappoint me.  The result was a person who always remains guarded, always avoids dealing with conflicts and dismisses friendships easily when they move along.  This isn't healthy.

As I've grown in my personal relationship with God, I've learned that friendships in the Body of Christ are essential to the Christian walk.  We were never meant to walk alone, we were never meant to deal with trials on our own and we were never meant to abandon those who God put in our paths.  People are NOT speedbumps.

Proverbs 18:24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Just a thought to chew on this Wednesday.  Do you need to rethink your view on friendships?

Consuming Worship Interview Part II

Head on over to read the rest of the interview.  Thanks again to Jeff for the great questions.  Visit Consuming Worship for part II.  Thanks to my friends for the kind comments on part 1.

Part 1

Part 2

Interview at Consuming Worship

Recently Jeff at Consuming Worship interviewed me as one of the Worship Leader Wednesday posts. Today is part one of the interview.  Thanks Jeff for the great questions!  Go here to read the interview.

A Little Vision

This morning our worship team got together for some donuts and a little vision casting.  I'm a believer in the power of communication for teams, hence the WST blog, this blog and other sources.  While these are great tools, nothing beats the power of a face to face every now and then.  Here are some of the things we had a chance to talk about...

• Celebration - I've been keeping notes and comments from Connect Cards received during the weekends.  It would be selfish of me to just keep these to myself so I pulled a few out to share with the team like this one.
• 2007 Review - Looked at what major things happened for our worship team this past year.  Things like professed salvations, baptisms, new worship team members etc. 
• 2008 Focus - We've got some major things happening this year.  With an anticipated third service on the horizon, we'll be making some moves this year to prep our worship team for whatever time is decided upon.
• PlanningCenterOnline Training - Walked through some of the tools offered on the site.

It was good for our team to refresh ourselves on why we do what we do.  It was good for all of us to actually be in the same room without instruments in front of us.  I'm looking forward to 2008 and can't wait to see how God uses our team.  Thanks to the team for taking two hours out of your weekend to catch up!